This will be my last post before this semester ended.. this semester is the most hectic one..too many things going on..Break ups, fighting, back stabbing, meet up, and many more..but i dont want to talk about that stuff. I just want to let off steam inside my heart.
After my break ups, things seems to be different. i expect that, but i don't know that it will be this hurt. I can feel that they are starting to go away from me. maybe im being too sensitive, but thats what we feel for people that we care the most. I miss I, I miss S, I miss Z, and I miss B. We used to do all sort of things together, watch movies, do some sports, study, and gossip(thats the best). Even though, some of them are rough, sedikit gile, but i dun mind, because thats the traits i love about u guys. U guys rocks my world, without u all, im nothing. Im just me, the old, sad n lonely me. But why do u all left me in the dark? u don't call anymore, text me anymore, or even invite me to have a dinner with u all.
What hurt the most happened in China. No one of u realize that im sick and alone in Summer Palace when we are in Beijing. Nobody said, "eh, mana nizam?". Instead, u all have fun and laughter without me in the picture. U all are busy taking photos and i frustratingly, just watch u all in the distance, where nobody can see me. Eating my heart up. Then, in the night when u all go to the bird nest stadium, that's even worst. im sick, and nobody stays with me to care for me, not even my beloved room mate. The thing is, if one of u is in my position, hell i wont go anywhere without u feeling healthy. I heard some of u said, "saya ni kawan masa susah". and damn, she's right. I don't know why people tend to forgot about me when they are happy, as i always have u all in my heart no matter it's glorious or sad moment..my heart were torn in pieces, shattered in misery. why do i got all this punishment?Is it because i screw up with your best buddy? am i not your good buddy anymore? i got the same amount of hurt when it happens and there's no one beside me to give me support. Please guys, forgive me for the mistake i've done and let's move on.
I hope, we can be like we used to be.. but maybe my dream was damned..Thank u I,S,Z,and B for the love and care u give me all this while. I hope i can have unlimited of them, but sometime we cant get all the things we want in this world. After this, we all we be on our own path. Wish u all the greatest joy in life, and please be someone that people will never forget, like the way i will never forget about u all. Don't be like me
